I was reading this blog yesterday, and while it is very short, simple and not at all profound. I haven't gotten it out of my mind. It may be because I remember sitting where she was about 6-7 years ago. I remember what was going through my MIND at the time. The struggle within in that was telling me there was something wrong with me. No one would ever really love me or want to marry me. I wasn't good enough. I remember the tears I cried as I prayed that God would bring someone amazing into my life and that I wouldn't settle for anything less than what God had for me. It was such a struggle (in my mind). Now that I look back, I am blown away by the man God has brought into my life.. I really don't deserve him.. but I'm glad I have him!
To go along with everything I have been contemplating about the mind, I have been reading through and studying the book of Philippians. This book is about JOY and having a single mindset. Wiersbe describes a single mindset as the attitude that says, "It makes no difference what happens to me, just as long as Christ is glorified and the gospel is shared with others." The apostle Paul wrote the book of Philippians and this was his mindset, but it is SO NOT MY MINDSET. I wish it was. I would like to say it was- but when I read Proverbs 23:7 (a) to be completely honest with you.. it is not. No-- I am more worried about what my house looks like, what people think about me (it is so bad that my husband, in jest, sings "Popular" to me from Wicked), what brand of clothes I wear, being the perfect wife, mom and just being "perfect" in general. I get discontended ALOT.
So, I come to this quote.. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. That is where I have been lately- examining my life. Who am I really, what do I want? Am I living for my own selfish gain, to make me known or in a way to make God and Jesus Christ known? When people look at me, what do they think? Better yet, when I look within my own heart- where are my thoughts and who am I living for?
Then this morning, I woke up in tears... thinking about my own struggles. Burdened for a family member who struggles with addictions and even after all the help his parents are trying to provide for him has relapsed again. I think about some other people close to me who at one point in their life had a love for God and really don't care anymore. I think about all my family members who believe in God, but don't really have a love for him. I think about a friend who lost her father a few weeks ago and doesn't know how to live without him. I think about friends of ours who seem to have everything- stuff, a beautiful house, wonderful kids and anything money can buy.. but are so unhappy.
Then I realize... you are what you THINK.
If myself and all these people I am burdend for changed their mindset...
This is what I read this morning (over and over... crying, broken):
Philippians 3:8-9 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. Paul goes on saying ...
13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I have read these verses MANY times and never have they come alive to me like they have today. Paul was the "Hebrews of Hebrews" in regards to the law. Oh I can relate.. I am a seminary graduate, a pastor's wife. I know how to ACT. Oh, how I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. May I grow to KNOW him more. May my MIND be that of Christ Jesus. May my desire be to make HIM known.
Thanks for letting me share this today! May you come to really KNOW Jesus.. He is the only one who can carry us through our struggles and who gives us hope.