Why Did She Leave us so Early?

Today marks the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death.

To give you a short history of my life, my parents divorced when I was five (I think) and I was raised by my dad with a HUGE help from my Grandma Eileen and Pap-Pap (my dad's parents).

My grandma was someone I seriously didn't think I could ever live without. I used to pray when I was younger that I would die before her.. because I seriously didn't think I could a live a day or moment without her.

To make things harder, she passed away about two weeks before my daughter was born. Words can not express how much I wanted her to meet and know Kate. As I sit here in tears, thinking of her... I really can't say anything more other than I MISS HER SO MUCH!!

There is a Mariah Carey song that came out last year (right around my grandma's passing) and I cry every time I hear it. I have posted the words and video below. The words seem like they were written for my grandma.

Grandma Eileen - I miss you so much. I will teach Kate everything you have taught me. I promise that even though you are gone.. you will never be forgotten... we will never say bye bye.
Bye Bye (Mariah Carey)

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why I didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings, and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously

There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon

Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye